


guess we're summoning demons now

by waywardtaco



Category: jesus - Fandom
Genre: Candles, Demons, Occult, Sad boi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 22:10:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20365909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardtaco/pseuds/waywardtaco
Summary: a girl and her friends summon some of those super fun demons





	guess we're summoning demons now

We’re about to head on a wild ride mis amigos because I’ve got some wacky insomnia and i kinda wanna die so mamma mia here we go again. Additionally this characters are very loosely based on their namesakes.

“YOU WHAT?!!??” I holler at my best friend.  
“I told him to ask you out.” Caroline responds turning away from me who may I add was very fucking pissed.  
“Why would you DO THAT? I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU”  
“I’m sorry, it seemed like a good idea at the time.” She turned her back toward me.  
“Well, it definitely wasn’t” I got up and began to pace the length of the kitchen.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“I’m not mad, just disappointed”  
“Ok, that’s fair.” I was definitely not pleased, however, I knew deep down that whatever she had done my dumbass best friend just wanted what was best for me. I decided that what I needed was a good ol’ satanic ritual. Caroline owed me big time now and I had always wanted to try to summon a demon.   
“I know how you can make it up to me.” I said as I sat back down at the kitchen table and grabbed Caroline’s hands.  
“Yeah, how?”  
“Remember how me and Sage wanted to summon a demon but you were being a pussy and said you wouldn’t do it, well now you gotta.”   
“Dude, no I’m not fucking doing that shit.”  
“Yeah, ya fuckin are. You made shit super awkward with Tyler so now you gotta."   
“This sounds like a terrible idea and you are very lucky that i love you and feel very bad about Tyler.” Caroline picked up her phone to call Sage.  
“It's probably not even gonna work it's gonna be some fun Quality Time for the three of us.”  
“Do you even know how we’re gonna summon this demon?”  
“No, but thats not the point, also we can probably just look it up on wiki how or some shit like that.”   
“Yeah ok fair guess we’re summoning a fucking demon.”  
“Hell yeah baybe, imma fuck it.” Sage showed up at Caroline’s about 20 minutes later with a giant can of salt.   
“Is that the sound of all the demons that wanna fuck you?” Sage asked in a joking tone.  
“Oh hell yeah my dude, they know i’m coming for em.” I replied in a slightly less joking tone.  
“We googled how to summon a demon and basically we need a spot in the woods, five candles for the elements or something and we have to figure out what demon we want to summon.” Caroline came and joined us in the mud room.  
“Well aren’t there like demons for each of the seven sins and isn’t lust one of them.”  
“Jesus, Abby don’t act like you don’t know exactly what you’re talking about.” Sage said.  
“I feel so called out right now.”   
“You should.” Caroline replied  
“Ok so, Asmodeus is the demon of lust and thats the one I wanna summon.”   
“Alright so lets go get some candles and head to indian brook.” We weren’t sure where we could get candles but eventually we found some at Ace Hardware. Then we went out to Indian Brook and hiked directly into the woods looking for a small clearing. We had some witty banter that included Caroline complaining about bugs, Sage missing her boyfriend and me being excited. Eventually, we found a place that worked and set up there. We had a print out of the Sigil of Asmodeus with us and we drew a pentagram and placed the candles at the point of each star. I went around and lit each candle and said the element it represented extra dramatically for effect. The website said we had to have an offering and we decided that we’d put an apple in the middle for Asmodeus. We were ready to summon.  
“Lord Satan, by your grace, grant me, I pray thee the power to conceive in my mind and to execute that which I desire to do, the end which I would attain by thy help, O Mighty Satan, the one True God who livest and reignest forever and ever. I entreat thee to inspire [name of Demon] to manifest before me that he/she may give me true and faithful answer, so that I may accomplish my desired end, provided that it is proper to his/her office. This I respectfully and humbly ask in Your Name, Lord Satan, may you deem me worthy, Father.” We all chanted in unison. The candles flickered and went out one by one and we were left in darkness.   
“Who the fuck is summoning me, Leviathan, on a Friday night?” said what i assumed was the demon.  
“Wait a minute,” I turned on my phone flashlight, “You’re not Asmodeus.”  
“Nope, I’m the demon of envy”   
“Ahh, boo.”  
“I get get Mammon out here to help sort things out if you’d like to Asmodeus. You see, Mammon usually handles that sort of thing.”  
“Ok, that would be great, you’re very helpful for a demon.”  
“Yeah no problem.” We waited a couple seconds and another demon showed up, this one slightly mom shaped.  
“What’s the problem?”  
“Oh my fucking god, Mom is that you?” I said. “This explains so much of my life.”

\------Fin------


End file.
